The traditional birthday sombrero to go along with the song!

Not quite so sure about being "pie'd" in the face with whipped cream at the end of her birthday song from the staff at Titos!  I love the look on her face! 

 Dani putting all her favorite toppings on her chocolate ice cream at Sweet CeCe's!

 Danielle and Bubby enjoy her birthday Ice Cream party!

Happy 43rd to me!

May 14-15, 2012

I've been sitting here, in the minutes before the stroke of midnight, doing what one does at this stage in the game where birthdays are concerned......reflecting.  And although my life has had its share of difficulties, heart breaks and obstacles, I also realize it has had many more days of feeling sheer joy.  The precious memories are too numerous to expound upon, but contain moments of complete hilarity with those" laugh until you cry" benefits - and are shared with a great multitude of people who have meant a great deal to me and who have all contributed to making me who I am today.  I realize you can't appreciate these moments until you have survived the trials - but I am also struck at how some of the very same trials surface at different stages throughout your life and are created through very different circumstances.  I think at this age, I finally desire to conquer some of those old demons that keep raring their ugly head.  They set limits and restrain me from being who I truly want to be.  I am tired of these strongholds and now feel that at 43, it is time to be accountable for my share in these chains being fastened.   I shall set my course on a new journey, not just to find the key for each lock, but to be intentional in turning that key to open that lock and cast aside one of these chains - one by one.

I realize too, that I have made an attempt many, many times to begin this journey on my own and have usually failed.  My fault was that my heart, nor my head were in sync and that I always made each attempt for the wrong reason.  It was always thought that the end result would be made to benefit someone else - that I was attempting change in order to please someone else.  I always thought I loved those in my life so much - that it would force me to see it through in order not to let them down.  But most times, they were completely unaware of my journey, let alone that the end result would be because I loved them.  I didn't succeed, because I didn't have their encouragement and I never succeeded because I never did it for myself.  And I was never any good at holding myself accountable.

This is one reason I think many balk at religion - they don't feel the need or the desire to have to be held accountable for their thoughts and actions to anyone other than themselves.  For me, there is great purpose in this now.  I feel that my God is invested in me and he wants good things for me and expects good things from me.  I think there is value in knowing that I have to work hard in order to achieve it, but that hard work can only take me so far and He can see me through.   "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me".  He has to be part of my equation.

Forget New Year's.....here are my 43rd Birthday Resolutions:

1) I can't fix anything in my life on my own.  I can't celebrate great things in my life on my own.  I can't live my life solely for my purpose.  My number one goal is to create the relationship that God desires.  I must devote time daily so that He can pour into me so that I can serve Him.  I have a long way to go to be the Prayer Warrior my grandmother was, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try my hardest.

2) Intently focus on those I love.  Make my husband, children, parents, siblings, in-laws and extended family know my love for each of them.  They HAVE to be a priority.  Do NOT procrastinate on the things that are most important where each of them are concerned.

3) Find patience and LOTS of it.  Use it in abundance and then replenish the source.

4) Run Disney's Princess Half Marathon in February 2013.  In order to do this, I must lose as much of the 130 excess pounds that my body now carries before this date.  You got it people - I have just written it here for all to see (accountability again!) how much weight I have gained since I started dating Dan 14 years ago.  I need to be healthy - now here is where the "I have always tried to do this for other people and never succeeded" mess comes into play!!! I have to lose this weight and be healthy for no one but myself.  There are NO more excuses.  This time I have a deadline, a commitment and a goal - not to mention the fact that I have somehow talked my poor baby sister into doing this with me.  I now have a "running buddy" that has to have me at my best.  BUT - I am running this race solely for ME.

5) In order to do ALL of the above, I must give up the things that are NOT important but are time consuming.  I know what each of these life draining demons are and I acknowledge that I will no longer allow them to hold the control.

 6) I will write a "Thank You" note EVERY day.  I will remember daily how blessed I am and be grateful for it.

7) I will maintain a clean and organized living environment - this means the house, the office and the car can no longer look the way they all look today.  Tired and Busy are no longer excuses.  This would be the place were Dan would openly belly laugh at my father thinking I am "SuperMom" - try as I might, I'm afraid this has been a source of failure.  Naps have definitely had a priority over cleaning the house.  NO MORE!

There are many more minute details which basically all fall into the above mentioned categories, so for now I will stop at 7 "new" goals for my life.  I deserve better, but I haven't lived it out loud that I do.  I have allowed self-doubt and a weak will to control me and stifle the "me I want to be" for too long.  Enough is enough.

So.......God, Friends and Family - hold me accountable.  Don't demean me or criticize me, but support and love me and push me forward.....because all of you deserve a "better me" too.

Happy Birthday to Me.......

BUGz - the life of a Ladybug!

 Allendale Elementary's Kindergarten classes participated in a musical titled "BUGz".  Ms. Oliver, the music teacher, put together another outstanding show - it was just precious.  There were Ladybugs (like Danielle), Bumble Bees, Army Ants, Dragonflies,  Fireflies, Butterflies, Stink Bugs and even a Maggot!  The fireflies were SO cute....they each had wings, antenae and dangling from their backsides was a green 2-liter bottle with lit, battery operated tea lights and strips of irridescent cellophane.  They sang a song motioning with flashlights - it was too cute.  The Ladybugs performed a very cute and sassy "Ladies" song.  Danielle sang out every note and performed all the motions splendidly.  Mommy was so proud of her.

Hey Pitcher Pitcher

 Now usually it is the team in the field that taunts the batter......not this game.  I nearly fell over laughing at my ball player today.....John Tanner, who unfortunately has struggled to hit the ball this year due to a recognizable fear of being hit by the ball, took a galant stance tonight.  He faced off against an old friend on an opposing team.
"Hey Ryder..... pitch it in here - right down the middle!  Come on Ryder, bring it".
I thought JT's coach was going to fall over...the look on his face was priceless.  JT did get a foul tip off of the pitch, but eventually walked.  He loves getting on base!