Eulogy
for my Grandmother, Marian Tanner (1923 – 2012)
Everyone
knows that with any life……..a day such as this is always coming. I can honestly say……that seeing this church
filled with so many friends and family members of my grandmother…..this is exactly
how I always pictured her day. She loved
this church so very much……… and she was a constant here for many, many years,
so it is only fitting……that all these pews would be filled with those who loved
her to say goodbye. On behalf of our
family, I thank you so very much for taking the time to show us your support……and
to show her your love and respect. How
precious it is to be together in her honor.
My
grandmother, Marian, was a remarkable woman……... She gave her heart away …..only one time, to
a man who she always said reminded her of Clark Gable. When his life was cut too short, she
continued to work hard and support herself and her family…… never finding
another to replace him. She was a nurse
who wore her dress whites and a hat to work every day. She was the grandmother that always sent a sweet
card and a check for $10 for your birthday. She was southern…..she was a lady ……and
she was graceful. She was never overly
affectionate…….but you always knew she loved you……..and she always told you she
loved you when it was time to leave or at end of the conversation on the phone. I was blessed to hear her say this to me for
the last time on Easter Sunday.
I
am overwhelmed by memories of my life with her and would like to share with you
portions of a letter I wrote to her for her birthday last July…….so that she
would know how precious her life had been to me. It is the best form of reflection I have of
our relationship and hope you don’t mind me sharing a bit with you today. I can say that of my siblings and all my
cousins…I am the big cry baby of the family….so please bear with me.
“Dearest
Grandma,
I’m
sorry if I have not been there enough for you.
I know this has been a difficult and frustrating couple of years for
you. You have always been so healthy, resilient
and active and I know the lack of these over the last year or so has been
difficult for you both physically and emotionally. I’m so sorry you have felt so bad. I wish I was there to hug you and to help you
feel more comfortable and well every day. What a blessing Linda has been to be there by
your side as your companion and caretaker.
Our family cannot thank her enough.
If
I was there…… I would enjoy the precious commodity of time…….and reminisce with
you about what a remarkable life I have had …….and what an incredible influence
you have been in my life. I would be moved to tell you how very much I love you….
and how thankful I am to have you as my grandmother. So…… instead of you lying in bed…….and me
missing you 800 miles away, why don’t you relax…….and let’s pretend I am
sitting next to you and that we are
laughing about wonderful old memories, sipping sweet tea and enjoying an
afternoon conversation out under the big tree in the backyard. And……… if we are going to pretend we are
enjoying a beautiful southern afternoon………I want us each to be wearing a big
brim hat…….with an oversized blooming flower on the side!
I’d
start by telling you how not so long ago, I was enjoying watching my little
Danielle running through the sprinkler in the backyard as she carried her
little umbrella. Immediately, I was
taken back to being a little girl myself doing the exact same thing in your
yard with your peachy pink umbrella. It
was one of my favorite things to do at your house on a hot summer day. I remember thinking your umbrella was the
prettiest and daintiest umbrella I had ever seen…….and….. it was more special
than any other umbrella in the whole world.
I loved playing with it. After I
dried off…….I’d eat either a juicy orange from your tree…..or get a vine ripe
tomato from your garden, near the carport……and go climb the big tree to sit and
eat it. Another fond memory was Uncle
Bill pushing us in your wheelbarrow around the entire block of broken
sidewalks. Although it was a marvelously
fun ride for us kids – I’m sure it left him exhausted.
I
remember how much I always looked forward to a walk to the lake with you at
sunset……..and how I always thought you walked so quick and brisk……instead of
strolling leisurely around the block. I
was both glad and sad to see them finally repairing the old broken sidewalk
during my recent visit. Glad, so that
people wanting to use it, could now do so safely – but sad because it was as if
they were completely re-creating a much beloved character of its own in Mt.
Dora. It was sad enough to know that
they had paved over much of the “musicality” of the Orange Blossom Trail between
yours and MawMaw’s old place….the sweet song that used to lull me to sleep at
night driving back from a visit with you.
What
I remember most about visiting Mt. Dora as a child…was that I always felt like
the musical road led to a time warp…..and that when you turned off the main
road to go towards Mt. Dora..you somehow traveled back in time. It was always so special and so quaint. I loved passing the school and always
saying…. “there’s where Momma and Daddy got so smart” and passing the Methodist
Church and saying ……“there’s where Momma and Daddy got married”. We’d reach downtown and sometimes Daddy would
take us to the old pharmacy where we used to get cherry or vanilla cokes …..and
then we’d round the corner and see the lake and the old fashioned lamp posts…..and
it just always seemed so special.
I loved pulling up to your white house
with the green shutters to see your car in the carport, knowing the tree was in
the backyard beckoning us to come climb up high and play in the boughs just as
soon as we finished saying hello and giving hugs to Grandma. I loved always finding the “bouncy” branch
that I could straddle and pretend I was riding a horse all through the
countryside.
I loved walking with you down to the
lake, especially at sunset or playing in the grassy field there with Uncle
Bill, Aunt Linda and a frisbee. The lake
added to the magic of your neighborhood…..
But most of all…… I loved your house.
I loved the sights and sounds of your house and how things seemed to
remain the same for many, many years.
There was comfort and normalcy in that. I loved spending time in Linda and MaryAnn’s
bedroom – left just like when they lived there, as was Daddy and Bill’s little
room with the bunk beds and desk.
I always looked forward to playing the
piano (even though I never played well) and enjoyed even more when Linda was
home to play so many favorites. I
remember thinking she was the best piano player in the whole world and I wanted
to grow up to play like her – sad to know that never happened!!! I loved looking at pictures of Daddy
when he was a little boy, looking at Momma’s wedding portrait hanging in the
dining room….and of course looking at the latest addition to your elephant
collection. And most of all, I remember
the kitchen…I always loved the lazy susan shelves that spun round and round in
the corner… the pull string over the sink to the overhead light….the cross
hanging on the wall made of matches and the little black cat on the wall where
you hung your keys. I remember how I
would wrinkle my nose at drinking your powdered milk……because it was so
different to what I was accustomed…..but I loved it anyways. I remember cooking in the little toaster
oven. And I remember your aprons. I always thought your pretty aprons made
cleaning seem glamorous and I wanted to help you wash dishes at every visit,
wearing yellow gloves and an apron of course. Funny how cleaning is fun as a kid…. at
grandma’s……but not so much as a busy mother! But most special of all….was the doorframe….
that holds three generations of our family ….and their timeline of growth. I marvel at seeing all my years of change…..along
with those of my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles…..and now my own
children and nephews. There is something
remarkable about documenting such change in everyone’s life. It is always good to look back and see where
you have been……to recognize where you are now…..and to know that you will be
somewhere completely different the next time you get to leave your mark on the
wall. Yes….it was a magical place to
grow up….. and it will always have a special place in my heart.
But
when I think of you…… it is not the house, the lake or the town that come to
mind first. It is not even the word “Grandma”,
for when I think of you… I see the woman who bestowed upon me the greatest gift
I could have ever been given….and that is the gift of faith. The testament to what a life of knowing and
loving the Lord Jesus Christ truly means.
I will never be able to thank you enough, for loving me enough, to be
sure that my eternal place in heaven has been prepared for me….. due to your
faithfulness and life of example. I have
a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father today…..because you instilled
that importance in me long ago.
While I was growing up….my most
favorite memories with you are those shared at your church. I remember especially the summer I worked at
Sea World and how special it was to go to church with you every Sunday that
summer. How wonderful it was to listen
to the sermons of Reverend Coffield and to see Mrs. Coffield. The way she always hugged and carried on, you
would have thought she was my third grandmother! There are so many old hymns, that when I hear
them today…..I hear your voice singing them.
I remember looking at your face as you sang…..usually with your eyes
closed……never having to look at the words on the page… for they were inscripted
on your heart. And as you sang….I could
actually see the corners of your mouth curling up into a smile. It was as if….I was witness to a very
personal and intimate experience between you and God…..and to me it was so very
precious.
It
is no secret that a life of faith is often tested and can frequently be full of
trials and tribulations. I have been
witness to many of those put in your path during your lifetime….and your grace
and steadfastness have served as an example for me. They have provided me with such love and
understanding… that even when I have felt hopeless….betrayed….and without
understanding of the chaos in life that surrounds me……that I have always been
able to acknowledge my every blessing also bestowed in times of heartache. I have been able to know that I am not alone
and that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is with me at all times and that I am
to put my trust and faith in Him.
My
relationship with you…helped to establish my thoughts and personal evocation….to
create my faith early on. And though it
has faltered….here and there throughout my lifetime…..I never strayed long
enough for that relationship to go away.
God always called on my heartstrings to come home. I promise you….that I will carry on…..where
your prayers for our family are left off ….and I will know that my prayers will
be strengthened…..when there is one more angel up in heaven to assist my
prayers to reach His ears. I know that
once your earthly body wears out, that you will still be with me every day of
my earthly life….and then with me in eternity after that. I will know you……and feel you…..and love
you….even after I can no longer talk to you face to face….or feel your
touch. I am so incredibly blessed by
your presence in my life….and even more blessed for what is to come.
You
are the one person in my life who is a true example of what faith is. I want you to know in the depths of your
heart…that because you made a difference in my life…..that I will spend the
remainder of my life……serving the Lord with all my heart…..and will continue to
lift my family up in prayer.
How blessed I am that He made me your
granddaughter. How extraordinary you are
in my eyes. How precious you are to my
heart. My cup runneth over and I will
forever be grateful to you for all you have been in my life….. my darling
Grandma. I love you so very, very much …..and
hope that my gift to you this day….will bring an understanding of how very
precious you are to me and that what you have given to me will hopefully come
full circle back to you and bring you more peace…..and happiness…..and love, than
you have ever known before. God Bless
you Grandma with all my love……you will be so missed.
